Hiding behind a mask

I don’t like wearing masks.

No, not the masks that we’ve got to wear because of the pandemic (Although I hate them too, they are only there for our safety! So please wear one!) A mask that we can hide behind because in our heads the real us isn’t good enough or we are too self-conscious or shy to open up to people. Everyone has insecurities and I think its more common than we think that we put on a strong, happy and confident face when in reality a lot of us aren’t as positive as we seem.

The mask I used to put on was someone who is ALWAYS really confident and happy with themselves. Someone that was happy with their life and the decisions she was making when in reality I’ve never had a clue about what I’m doing with my life. I just take things as they come and go with the flow I guess. I was someone who was visually “happy” with what was happening around her and would go along and agree with it regardless of how she truly felt about it. She would just smile and let people walk all over her and act like she was okay with it. When inside she was screaming at herself to say something different.

I am trying to become more authentic, more real and open with my feelings and emotions to people around me who i wouldn’t usually. I am a lot more confident now than I was a year ago! Or even 6 months ago! A combination of removing people out of my life who were bringing nothing but negativity tinto it, being able to notice when someone isnt good for me and bringing more positivity into my life with my actions, the people surrounding me and the way i think about myself. I am more confident in the peorson ive become i am happier i am more open and i am trusting (which although with all the negativity people have put onto me i still am which is a good thing). I just know when people are only doing so for personal gain.

On social media such as Instagram I come across as someone really confident in their body and more recently that is the case but before I doubted myself with every post like and comment I relied on peoples opinions and what other people thought of me rather than doing it for myself. I became super obsessed with the number of likes I got on my posts. This mindset is super unhealthy and often causes a lot of issues in someones mental health and how they perceive different things. It’s like an obsession. You can’t see past it and focus on anything but the performance of your social media and what people think of you.

Having a mask isn’t always a bad thing… Being able to hide behind it every now and again has been actually very helpful at certain rough points in my life and it isn’t bad, depending on the situation of course. Sometimes keeping quiet and going along with things is the easiest route and sometimes doing so has helped me through a lot of things. It also has helped me to get to where I am today. When I began snowboarding I wasn’t the biggest fan I wasn’t picking it up quickly enough and I was frustrated but I used to just smile and go along to my lessons and just nod to get through it and look where I am now! In these situations I think as long as you aren’t getting pushed to the side, ignored, disrespected or mistreated then it can be okay.

Smiling to get through a rough day is alright. We all have moments where you just think if one more person asks if your okay you might cry. During these moments as long as you can let these strong emotions out at a later time then just holding back for the benefit of others or yourself can be good. But you have to have the ability to come to terms with how you are feeling rather than pushing it to the back of your mind to slowly build-up

You should NEVER be forced into anything. If you really believe something or think something should be different or you disagree don’t feel afraid to speak out! Being the rebel in the room isn’t always bad (again depending on the situation). Speaking your mind, your thoughts and feelings is a sign that you are growing as a person, and that you are confident enough to speak out loud. Be confident, Be strong, Speak your version of the truth. Cause minimal offence and be polite of course but be honest.

Use your masks wisely and properly.

When you are trying to figure if using this ability is good or not think about this.

“when you are saying ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself” – Paulo Coelho

Put yourself first. Look after your body and mind.

Stay strong

Cerys Allen


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